elephant polo

thanks erika for this…..picture…

Superbowl (of Doritos)

Although this commercial is 3 months old now, it’s still AMAZING!

Sticky Situation

Just when you thought your “Hump Day” couldn’t get any worse, keep in mind this man’s hump day which just happened on the 14th…..

Imagine, you live in Germany, and you’re driving down the road in your Volkswagen jamming to the “dadada” song. You look to your left and you see an old man on his roof – what is he doing you ponder (of course your inner monologue is occuring in German). This is exactly what happened…..

In Magdeburg, Germany, a 91 year old man was repairing his roof. While applying some sticky bituman, he slipped and fell essentially gluing himself to the roof. Being 91, it was hard for him to pull against the sticky trap he just created. It ended up being a rescue operation. The poor man was just trying to do some handy work, it ends up a lot of people thought he was planning to commit suicide

Poor Guy

West Michigan Barbie

I used to live in Michigan so I thought that this was funny! Sad that there’s no Ada, Lowell, Forest Hills, or Grand Rapids Barbie. I guess they are pretty much covered in the ones listed below. Feel free to laugh, it’s pretty good!

Rockford Barbie -
She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

Hudsonville Barbie -
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

Kalamazoo Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don’t know what you are talking about.

East Grand Rapids Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won’t be able to afford any of them.

Dorr Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken’s butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Muskegon Heights Barbie
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Barbie’s house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

Easttown Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

Kentwood Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

NFL Wants To Trademark A Euphemism For Its Trademark

We’ve written in the past about the NFL’s extremely aggressive stance on its trademark of the term Super Bowl. Basically the league has sought to forbid advertisers from saying things like “Get a new color TV in time for the Super Bowl!”, so instead they have to use euphemisms like “The Big Game” instead. Of course, this is a total misuse of trademark law. The idea of trademarks isn’t to give one entity total control, but rather it’s to prevent confusion. So, for example, the law would prevent another football league from calling their championship game The Super Bowl. But advertisers may have to come up with some new euphemisms next year because now the NFL is seeking a trademark on “The Big Game” (via Hit & Run). The league’s stance is already ridiculous, but this takes the cake. “The Big Game” isn’t even something that the NFL came up with; it’s a phrase that other people use to describe the Super Bowl. There’s no justification for the NFL to control this term and then prevent others from using it. At least the NFL is trying to be careful not to overstep its bounds, as it says it has no intention of taking control over the word “game”… for now.

-Techdirt.

Phony Photo Booth (as seen on TV!)

You can laugh if you want

THE YEAR’S BEST (actual) HEADLINES OF 2006

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[ That'll stop 'em. ]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!! ]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[ No-good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for
Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges !
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS
the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is….

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

my blog is better than yours

I came across this while at work today. I would SO love to say some of these to the people that call!!!

THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR FROM TECH SUPPORT

* “Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?”

* “That’s right, not even McGyver could fix it.”

* “So — what are you wearing?”

* “Duuuuuude! Bummer!”

* “Looks like you’re gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap’n.”

* “Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you’re with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you’re with the FTC.”

* “We can fix this, but you’re gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery.”

* “In layman’s terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect.”

* “Hold on a second… Mom! Timmy’s hitting me!”

* “Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics.”

* “Please hold for Mr. Gates’ attorney.”

confession

i am sorry (i think) to confess the following:

i am addicted to coke. it started off as just a little hit. i had some, it satisfied me. then i found myself wanting it more and more. not just once a day mind you. when i get up, when i have a meal, when i’m just relaxing. the coke monster sits on my shoulder and spurs me on and on into this spiraling addiction. is there any hope, any end to this dark tunnel of insatiable coke cravings?

by the way i’m talking about coke the drink not the drug, although caffeine is a legal addictive stimulant…..